Is dedicated to you guys who just can't bear to see or feel the presence of my guts. Enjoy.

Hate Me - Blue October.

I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape, to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, and a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so f*cking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
'Till I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away," just make a smile
Come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, "How can you do this to me?"

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you.
For You

2 posts in a few hours. Amazing.

Ciao~

Wouldn't it be real nice if I had a poster of my family, perhaps hanging in my room? Or maybe as my display picture? I mean PROFESSIONALLY taken ones, like those you go to the studio and take. It will be that awesome, times maybe I can get them is if, I am rich or I graduate from a university or, I get married. That would be so nice though.

P.S. Especially our photo-shopped faces Lol!

Oh well...haha.

Being random here,

Ciao.

People avoid me.
People take advantage of me when I am too good.
People think that I am a jerk if I am too bad.
People will still avoid me if I am both.

I bet a good number of people have "I hate you" in his mind.
I bet another small amount have "I loathe you" in his mind.
I bet a few people would have "F*** Off" in their mind.

Sometimes I laugh at this
Sometimes I feel like crying
Sometimes I wonder....

Does my life sucks?

I think it does.

Am I that much of a punching bag that takes your blows?

You think I am.

Ciao~

I can't really think of a title now. Seriously.

I am just boring myself with games to play although I can get hooked on Rock Band for 4 hours a day. Somehow I am already a night owl. Sleeping at the wee hours of the night, therefore, stayovers aren't really stayovers for me, as I feel like I do not want to sleep, but others think I can't handle it. Misconception or a form of inferiority?

Perhaps I shan't say much about this, don't think that I NEED sleep, sometimes I can remember me staying up doing work. The whole night, I didn't even sleep. Well others are happily enjoying themselves sleeping and adventuring in their dreamland, I am sometimes there doign work. Haha.

Anyway, perhaps sleep would be a good thing for me. Perhaps.

Woo....I can somehow think it is funny though, that sleep can don't occur to me.

Talking about sleep, my internet has been sleeping on me too, disconnecting and connecting and always appearing page Errors. I must use a direct modem adapter and plug-in to let it work properly. Darn internet, although if I play on the Xbox, it is perfectly fine. I wonder why. :/

Anyway, I think I said enough, and I would not like to bore you further. Haha

Ciao~

I just freaking got my transcript, and my freaking HS PASSED. This is the second time I felt this good, first was when I found out I passed my Chinese on "O" Level.

Well, I finally got some As on the script, and accompanied with a threesome of Cs and a B+. Which brought back my GPA to 3. I am so happy. But however, my POC failed, again. Expected. What can I say hmmm......

Been playing Rock Band these days, trying to get lots of Gamer points for a in-clan tourney on getting Gamerpoints. Lol. So far my skills:

Vocals: Medium/Hard/Expert
Guitar: Medium
Bass: Medium
Drums: Easy (Finish Solo Tour first)

Anyway, been Left 4 Dead-ing and it was fun. Better not exhausy myself now, becoming Head Waiter for TR later. Lol.

Ciao~

Food Service Management's Progress Test really has 50 T/F and 50 MCQ.

I wish.

Ciao~

Yeah, just realized that I will be getting Rock Band in 3 Weeks, since I do not have Cash, even though I managed to save 120 dollars, but Noooo, fate decided to screw with me and disclude Rock Band game from the Instrument set, WTF? Seriously, I am pissed off my pants.

Just when money will not be the issue. I really envy some of them, I feel like I am the only guy that needs to SAVE to get what I want, don't say you're unlucky, you are so darn lucky to have parents saying okay...

When we had money, when I wanted something, the word appeared is NO. Now, is a totally different story, now I want something, parents told me to save myself. Hais. When can they actually say YES. Ok. Let me chip in a bit for you. I would be so happy.

In other words, I am deseperate. I WANT 130 BUCKS! RIGHT NAO! :(

Ciao~

Well, just returned from Ken's place after close to a 3D2N Stayover at Ken's place this Labour Day holiday, played Rock Band and Halo 3 like crazy with the Xbox. Well, using Ken's RB though, getting it next week, I hope, thanks Mas! Jon, Morg and Nat came over with me to his place and we rocked almost 10 hours, gosh. Sleeping for 10 hours rejuvenated my energy to blog right now actually.

And also, lots of different things, might not be able to go out too often after these days....Came up with a To-Do-List after I get Rock Band for myself.

Priority List
1. Get Started on FHH File.
2. Return any outstanding debts.
3. Save at least $10 a week after repaying the debts
4. Purchase Songs For Rock Band (1,600 GP for 30+ dollars, 10 songs)
5. Try to go for our usual L4D Sessions on Thursdays.
6. Study for Exams.
7. Get New Shoes For JOY lesson. (Check Timetable :P)

Jeez....

Ciao~